Sitting With You Beneath the Moon
by wirenoose
Summary: It's on the quiet nights that Kageyama remembers. While Hinata sleeps as soundly as he can, breaths rattling around his chest before leaving him, Kageyama remembers. He remembers when Hinata was the sun, burning bright and brilliant. But now, he doesn't burn bright so much as he burns out. Of All the Stars in the Sky - Part One (Warnings for General Depression)
1. Chapter 1

And of course, after nearly three weeks of absence, I return with unscheduled angsty nonsense, so here you go.

* * *

It's never a good thing to come home to quiet. Quiet means the day is bad, the day is low, the day is muddled with the cloying sense of grief.

He slips off his shoes and sets his keys in the dish on the side table. The grocery bags gets set on the table; they'll be organized later and he doesn't want to knock the day down further by putting them away wrong.

They've long since stopped calling greetings to one another whenever they get home. They didn't stop all at once but it only took about two weeks for them to stop completely. The greetings were always unnecessary, they still are.

With a deep breath, Kageyama heads down the hallway.

Hinata's room is slightly bigger, it used to be an office, but Kageyama gets the double window and they both like that. It works out; Kenma stays with them sometimes, and the extra space in Hinata's room allows for a trundle bed. Other times, Yachi drops in for a short visit, she likes the natural light from the window. Besides all that, Hinata's room is usually pretty dim anyways, the extra light would just be a bother.

He knocks once on Hinata's door before pushing it open.

The room isn't all that messy usually. Hinata's good about organizing, he just does it his own way. All the same, it still looks a little chaotic to Kageyama, but Hinata likes it how it is.

It's fine.

A tuft of bright orange hair is all Kageyama can see of Hinata. The rest of the smaller man's body is a barely identifiable lump under the covers. His phone is on the nightstand, glowing to display four missed calls and twelve missed texts. Kageyama knows that two of the calls and three of the texts are his. The rest are likely from Kenma, maybe even Yachi or Yamaguchi.

"Sho," he calls, voice flat so Hinata won't hear anything out of the ordinary. He turns on the lamp so the room is lit up at least a little bit.

There's a muffled grunt from under the covers and Kageyama takes it as an affirmative that Hinata is listening to him.

"Kenma's going to be over this weekend. He's been with Akaashi since last Tuesday, but Akaashi's going out of town."

Another grunt.

"Did I wake you up?"

The tuft of hair moves as Hinata shakes his head. It takes all of two minutes for him to sit up. His hair is messier than usual, his eyes tinged red. His bottom lip is chewed ragged, a light smudge of blood evident at the corner of his lips. The bags under his eyes don't look any better, but they don't look worse, which is good.

That's good.

Hinata holds out his arms, fingers curling in a grabbing motion until Kageyama moves closer. Once he's in reach, Hinata pulls him down to sit on the bed.

Kageyama opens his arms for Hinata, holding perfectly still as the smaller man shifts closer. Hinata's hair brushes against his nose but Kageyama continues to stay still until they're both situated.

Hinata's scrawny arms wrap tight around his waist, nails biting into his skin through his shirt. It hurts, but it quickly fades to a dull ache as Hinata relaxes a little.

"Kenma's coming?" he asks after a moment, voice little more than a rasp.

"On Friday," Kageyama says, resting one hand on Hinata's back and the other on his head. He lightly scritches his blunt nails against Hinata's scalp, trying not to mess the wild hair any more than it already is. The action is repetitive, calming, and it works to make Hinata calm and complacent, less likely to snap.

That's good for the both of them.

"What's today?" Hinata asks. His hands drop from Kageyama's back, laying limp against the sheets.

"Wednesday."

Hinata's quiet, humming as he thinks.

"Grocery day?"

"Yeah, everything's on the table, whenever you're up for it."

Hinata nods, his hair rubbing up against Kageyama's nose again. He wants to sneeze, but he steels himself and stays quiet.

It takes a few minutes for Hinata to pull himself together. Kageyama stands up, helping Hinata to his feet. He wobbles slightly, having been in bed all day, but he offers Kageyama the barest hint of a smile before taking his hand. They walk out to the kitchen and Kageyama perches on the counter, watching quietly as Hinata's focus narrows to the plastic bags on the table.

Hinata unbags everything first, separating boxes from lumpy packages, and fridge items from food that goes in the cupboards. He pulls a chair from the table and drags it to the counter opposite Kageyama. It's a lot of back and forth trips, Hinata empties the first cupboard of what it already holds and starts filling it again. He orders the boxes by food type and size, filling the top shelf first and working his way down, occasionally fitting in something that won't go anywhere else.

He's tired by the time he moves onto the fridge so he brings all the remaining groceries into the kitchen and sets them on the floor. Sitting in front of the open fridge, he starts the process over again, meticulously checking expiration dates and setting food aside if it's bad.

Kageyama watches everything, eyes fixed on the slumped curve of Hinata's back, the exhaustion induced tremors running rampant through his body, and the on again off again shine in his eyes.

It's a quiet day, which means the day is bad and low and muddled. But it's a good quiet day. Hinata almost smiled, and he hadn't taken a break between the cupboards and the fridge. He talked earlier.

Kageyama crumples up the bags for Hinata, throwing them beneath the sink before helping him stand.

"Do you have work to do?" Hinata asks. They're still in standing in the middle of the kitchen, Hinata's wrists held loose in Kageyama's hands.

"I finished what I needed to before I left."

Hinata works from home, which is good because most days he can't bring himself to leave their apartment. He works through his laptop to speak to whatever division he needs to and through detailed emails when he lacks the energy to talk or interact with anyone other than Kageyama and Kenma. He sends all his designs, layouts, approved paperwork through a scanner, and whatever he can't, his assistant drops by to pick up.

Kageyama works in a building just down the street. It's an even mix of paperwork and athlete interaction. His clients are almost always top of the line athletes recovering from heartbreaking, career shattering, injuries. Yachi's there as well, she helps him as part of his team, and organizes staff parties and client files. Kageyama likes his job well enough; working with various athletes, putting together training and eating regimens, it's even helped him grow friendlier over all. His clients chatter, they tell him he's easy to talk to and he doesn't know why.

He could do without the paperwork.

"Can we watch a move then?"

"Sure."

Hinata smiles up at him again, hazy and soft and barely there.

Slowly, they shuffle walk to the living room, Kageyama supporting most of Hinata's weight without realizing it.

"I wanna watch the movie Yamaguchi let us borrow," Hinata says, propping his chin against Kageyama's chest, fixing him with red rimmed eyes and the ghost of a smile.

Kageyama nods.

He puts in the movie, it's a bit of a struggle because Hinata won't let go, but he manages. There was a time when he wouldn't hesitate to shove Hinata off, to grumble something rude that they both knew he didn't mean. Hinata would have pouted before laughter bubbled up into his throat. He would jump up to give Kageyama a kiss before clinging to him again. Kageyama would roll his eyes and sigh like he was annoyed, though they both knew he wasn't.

But it's not that time now.

Now, there are days where Hinata won't touch him. There are days when Hinata does nothing but lay in bed, crying to himself intermittently, where he panics if Kageyama sets even a finger on him. Those are the worst days, and though they aren't entirely common, Kageyama feels his heart break each morning he wakes unable to hold Hinata or give him a kiss.

He's not even mad at Hinata, not even a little bit. He'd been irrationally angry in the beginning, but he soon got over that. It's just strange to remember Hinata before. There's such a disconnect that Kageyama sometimes finds himself wondering if he'd tripped into some other, much worse, universe.

It'd make sense.

A lot of things are different, more so than he'd ever thought they would be.

Bokuto Koutarou from Fukurodani stills plays pro, Akaashi Keiji is a coach for a rapidly advancing college team. They talk with Akaashi a lot more than they used to, and that's because of Kenma. The other setter is usually one of three places; his shared apartment, Kageyama and Hinata's apartment, or Akaashi's house. It's rapidly becoming the case that he's rarely at the former. Akaashi's usually alone, and open to company. Bokuto's often away, whether out of district or out of country, and Akaashi has their two dogs and a contact list of high school acquaintances to fend off loneliness.

Asahi has practically dropped off the face of the earth, the only way they know he's still alive is because of sporadic appearances in Suga and Daichi's social media. Ennoshita managed to put out a pretty decently rated movie a couple of years ago, and as far as they know, he's working as a screenwriter in the states. Yamaguchi's a kindergarten teacher, and Kageyama doesn't remember what Tsukishima does, only that Yamaguchi talks about usually going to bed by himself.

He sees Daichi at work; the former Karasuno captain wrecked his right shoulder in the final match of his college career, and he can barely raise his right hand over his head. But they're getting there. Suga always gives him baked goods of some kind as a 'thank you' after Daichi's monthly appointments.

After graduation, he'd gotten a call from Kunimi, and met with him and Kindaichi the following day. The reconciliation was slow going, mostly because Kindaichi wasn't yet ready to let go of his frustration, and Kageyama wasn't sure if he even deserved the friendship in the first place. But Kunimi pushed and they're all on good terms for the most part. They don't hang out on a regular basis, mostly because of work, but they go out for the occasional drink, and call each other to stress vent or preform a simple catch up over lunch.

He even sees Iwaizumi sometimes.

The older man had pursued a career in sports medicine; he happens to work in a sister building in another district. Occasionally, both he and Kageyama are called to work together with a choice client. Kageyama had asked about Oikawa, only for Iwaizumi to go quiet at the question. He steers clear of the topic now, and that's only because his curiosity led him to ask Kunimi what had happened.

Kunimi hadn't known everything, but what he did know made sense.

Hinata cuddles up to him as the movie starts and Kageyama rests an idle hand in his hair, stroking through the bright orange tufts.

Hinata probably needs a shower, or a bath depending on how long he can stand by himself. They can do dinner first though, then Hinata can take a bath, and maybe he'll be up for Kageyama brushing his hair afterwards.

Kagyama doesn't pay much attention to the movie, too focused on the way Hinata's breath rattles around in his chest before battling past his lips. He's too focused on the way Hinata's hands shake, the way he squirms but keeps himself close to Kageyama regardless.

The fidgeting gets worse as the move progresses and Hinata moves to the other end of the couch by the halfway mark. He looks at Kageyama, biting his lip as he tries to calm himself down before he ends up in tears.

"It's okay," Kageyama says simply.

"I'm sorry."

"Really, it's okay, Sho, I promise."

Hinata nods like he's convincing himself that it really is okay, but then he shakes his head. He pats the cushion between them a few times before settling his hand there, palm down. Kageyama follows suit.

They finish the movie with their pinkies barely touching.

* * *

Kageyama makes dinner, Hinata sits on the counter and hums the tune to a song Yachi had been singing the last time she cam over.

Initially, Kageyama hadn't been that good of a cook, but Hinata was even worse. He'd caved and asked Suga, and Tanaka surprisingly enough, to help him learn. Within a few months he'd picked up enough to actually enjoy cooking. It didn't hurt that he managed to rack up numerous enthusiastic, if slightly made up of gibberish, compliments from Hinata.

When he's done, Kageyama plates what he can, setting everything on the table. Hinata doesn't eat much anymore, but he still likes to steal food from Kageyama's plate. He eats more that way, so Kageyama has gotten in the habit of adding extra food to his portion just for Hinata.

They eat in easy silence; Kageyama remembers Hinata's fast paced recounts of his day, full of unnecessary sound effects and just the right amount of blinding smiles.

But that's okay, there are new good things during dinner now. Hinata's eating, he's not staring balefully at his food or falling asleep. He's remembering to chew so he won't choke, and he's boldly making eye contact with Kageyama as he takes pieces of meat from his plate.

It's a good quiet day.

Hinata puts groceries away, Kageyama does dishes. They'd set that when they first moved in together and Kageyama clings to that like it's the last life vest and he's out at sea.

After dinner, Hinata sits on the counter and watches him clean, eyes dutifully following every motion he makes.

"You've always had nice hands," Hinata says, pointing with a trembling finger as if to remind Kageyama where his hands are. "They're still pretty."

"Thank you."

Hinata nods and doesn't say anything else until Kageyama is done.

"Bath?" he asks quietly, and Kageyama knows that voice.

"Yeah."

Kageyama starts the water in the tub, just a touch on the side of too hot like Hinata likes it, then moves the various bottles to the edge where he can reach them. He gets up to get another towel, for Hinata's hair, from the hallway closet, as well as the weird bath scents Hinata likes. When he returns, Hinata's already sitting in the water.

He sprinkles a handful of the scented powder into the tub as it fills and watches as it tinges the water purple and floods the bathroom with the scent of flowers. He turns off the water and pulls the oversized plastic cup from beneath the sink.

Hinata sits for a few more moments before nodding his head. Kageyama fills up the cup and slowly pours it across his back.

Kageyama takes his time, carefully soaking Hinata's hair with water from the cup, and periodically wetting his shoulders so he doesn't get cold. Hinata's already picked from the two shampoos, holding the bottle back to Kageyama to use.

For immaturity's sake, once he's managed to thoroughly shampoo Hinata's hair, he shapes it into a mohawk using the lather that's built up. He's rewarded with stifled laughter and continues to mess around for a few minutes more, if only to hear that laughter for a little longer.

The bath goes faster after that, and once the water's swirling down the drain, Kageyama helps Hinata into a towel. Once dry, Hinata dresses in pajama pants and one of Kageyama's old shirts. It doesn't hang quite so comically on his frame, but the collar is clearly to large, and it gives the illusion that the shirt is attempting to eat him whole.

Kageyama picks up the blue brush, silently asking permission. Hinata gives it to him with a silent nod, and moves to stand in front of the mirror. Running a few experimental brush strokes through Hinata's hair, Kageyama decides it's still too wet and picks up the extra towel to pat it dry.

Hinata stays quiet, eyes following Kageyama's hands in the mirror.

It's not an uncommon occurrence, Hinata's been watching frequently in the past months. He's yet to say anything to Kageyama, aside from sporadic reminders that his hands look nice, and Kageyama isn't really sure what to do with this new habit.

He opts to focus on Hinata's hair instead. Now that it's dry enough for his liking, the brush meets little resistance, the bright orange isn't dripping water down Hinata's back. Kageyama doesn't do anything special with it, just brushes what he can, and runs his fingers through what he can't. He's half convinced that Hinata's hair is a sentient being, one that will never completely be tamed; no matter the amount of attention and hair gel its given.

"Done?" Hinata asks, shoulders sagging as exhaustion seeps into his bones.

"Done." Kageyama puts down the brush and turns around, he waits for Hinata to grab onto his shirt, and once he does, they both walk back into the hall.

Kageyama takes a step towards Hinata's room, but the smaller man has other ideas. He moves close enough to rest his forehead against Kageyama's back, from the rubbing, Kageyama can figure out that he's disagreeing with the decision.

So they go to Kageyama's room.

Hinata crawls in on one side and Kageyama on the other. Neither of them moves for a moment, but once Hinata's taken a few calming breaths, they turn to face each other.

"I can't- not tonight," Hinata mumbles.

Hinata had been clingy before, and Kageyama had grumbled though he was the same way. It's not a big deal now, not really, not at all. Kageyama is content with the fact that Hinata's with him for the night, this way he's not left wondering if he'll find tear stains on Hinata's pillow case come the next morning.

"It's okay," Kageyama says, and he feels like he says that a lot. But it is okay, all of it, really. He just doesn't know how else to say it, or if Hinata believes him at all.

It's quiet for all of twenty minutes, Kageyama's just starting to drift into that grey space between sleep and wakefulness when he feels a gentle tug on his hair.

"Tobio?" Hinata's voice is little more than a soft breath.

"Yeah?" In comparison, Kageyama sounds like the crashing of cymbals.

"Are you okay?"

It's a shocking question to say the least.

"I'm fine."

He can't quite see Hinata's face in the darkness, but he imagines that it's something like mild frustration and confusion.

"Oh."

"Are you?" Kageyama says after a stalled exhale.

"I don't know."

"Oh."

There's a shift in the mattress as Hinata wiggles a little closer. Kageyama stays where he is, allowing Hinata to decide just how close he wants to be.

"Hold my hand?" he whispers.

"Are you sure?"

"Please?"

Kageyama doesn't waste a second lacing their fingers together. He hears a little sigh from Hinata, but it doesn't sound distressed by any stretch.

They fall asleep soon after.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, I lied. I was planning for just two chapters, but then I figured 'to hell with it' and beefed up this chapter a little bit, so there'll be a third chapter now. There's also a bit more background in this chapter, yay!

* * *

Clover never fails to make Hinata laugh, and Kageyama feels like he should maybe be jealous.

But he's not.

"Clover," Akaashi's voice carries across the front lawn and Clover licks Hinata's face one more time before bounding back to the porch.

Kageyama pulls Hinata to his feet, using his sweat sleeve to wipe off all the drool Clover left behind. Hinata still has a smile on his face, and Kageyama presses a kiss into his hair. They walk the rest of the way up the grass, Hinata leaning heavily against Kageyama, and Akaashi waves them in.

Truth be told, he's always kind of liked Akaashi's house, technically it's Akaashi's and Bokuto's but the latter is often away in different countries for weeks at a time. He's not entirely sure how Akaashi feels about that, but it can't be good. Regardless, Akaashi's a tidy person, yet there's still a well worn feel to the entire house, it feels lived in. The dogs probably contribute to that; there are toys on the floor sometimes, usually Clover's, and their beds make the front room look comfortable. There are more than a few pictures hanging on the wall or settled on the bookshelf. There's one in particular of Akaashi and Bokuto at Akaashi's graduation.

Kageyama thinks it's nice that they're both looking at each other, Bokuto had picked Akaashi up in a bear hug, and they're both smiling.

Ziggy buts his head against Kageyama's thigh as he walks in further, and Clover starts dancing around Hinata's feet. Akaashi doesn't call her off this time, if only because he knows what it means to Kageyama to see Hinata smile. Kageyama's grateful for that.

Hinata drifts over to Kenma, who's settled on the couch with his backpack and small duffel bag at his feet, and sits down next to him. As opposed to the blond in high school, Kenma's settled with a shade of blue in the ends of his hair, it looks brighter in the sun but is noticeable regardless of where he is. Hinata had suggested the color, Kenma had agreed without question and had gotten the dye job once the blond had mostly faded.

"He seems lighter today," Akaashi says softly, arms folded over his chest as he leans a little closer so as not to be heard by anyone other than Kageyama.

"He sang a little in the shower," Kageyama replies, a little softer.

"That's good."

Kageyama nods, he's still not good at conversation, but it's grown a bit easier since he became an adult, and Akaashi is easy to talk to.

"He's been here since last Tuesday?" Kageyama asks.

"Yes, it must have been pretty bad. Usually he calls, you know? But he showed up at three in the morning, soaking wet like some kind of kitten left out in the rain," Akaashi says quietly, his gaze settled to the boy in question.

"Did he tell you what happened?"

"Not this time, I'm sure Hinata can get it out of him though."

They lapse into a short silence, Kageyama occupied with petting Ziggy. When he looks up at Akaashi, the older man has his head tipped back, eyes closed.

"How are you doing?" he asks, gesturing vaguely to the living room.

Akaashi shrugs.

"I'm fine, it's not as hard as it used to be. The season will be over soon anyways, then he'll be home."

"That's good."

Hinata carries Kenma's duffel bag back to the car and Kageyama helps Akaashi with his own luggage. The older man will only be out for a few days, his dogs will be with his parents, but Kageyama doesn't know where he's going and he doesn't think he should ask. It's not that he thinks it's bad or anything, but he respects Akaashi's privacy.

Kageyama slips into the driver's seat, looking in his rear view to see Akaashi coaxing Ziggy into his car.

"-with you and Kuroo?"

Hinata's twisted around in the passenger seat, Kenma's sprawled in the backseat, leaning his head on the window.

"It was my fault this time, legitimately," Kenma says quietly.

Kageyama focuses on the road in front of him, glad that Kenma's proving a distraction for Hinata. The only downside to that, is he now knows how bad Kenma's doing as well. Not bad necessarily, his relationship with Kuroo has grown progressively rocky over the years. It's not that they don't like each other, they just clash more, gnash their teeth and scrape their claws, and Kageyama desperately needs them to just sit down and _talk_.

It would make things so much easier.

He likes having Kenma around, sure, but he also wants his friend to be happy.

When the three of them arrive at the apartment, Hinata sticks by Kageyama's side, claiming one of his hands before he can pick up Kenma's duffel bag. They climb the stairs and Hinata lets go of Kageyama's hand to walk Kenma down the hall. He'd pulled out the trundle before they left, so they set Kenma's bags on the mattress and join Kageyama in the living room.

They settle on the loveseat, Kageyama against one arm with Hinata cuddled into his side. Kenma sits against the other arm, Hinata's legs in his laps. Kenma takes off the braces for him, the sound of velcro is the only noise in the apartment.

By this time, they've set up a comforting enough routine.

Kageyama nods off while Hinata holds a sleepy conversation with Kenma while the latter taps away on his phone.

It's a good kind of quiet.

Kageyama's dreams are mostly memories now. There are a few strange ones, like the one he had about a super hero milk carton, but the vast majority are film reels of years previous. Hinata's in nearly all of them, burning bright like the sun with a blinding smile and an entrancing fire in his eyes. That's one of Kageyama's favorite images of Hinata. It's right next to the sleepy smiles and tired eyes, and the look Hinata gets when he's determined to make the day good.

Some of the dreams cut in the not so pleasant memories.

It's just one of those days apparently.

Kageyama knows it's a dream just as soon as everything comes into focus.

They're at a park with Suga, Daichi, Yamaguchi, Yachi and Tsukishima. Hinata's arguing with the latter, smiling all the same and Tsukishima's pretending like he isn't enjoying himself. By some means, they're set to play a simple three on three, with Yachi keeping score and alternating her cheers between their makeshift teams.

There's a moment where the colors all blur together as the dream fast forwards a little bit. Kageyama watches as everything plays out, because it always plays out the same way. Hinata's wearing his ankle brace, just like he's supposed to. He had to beg to even think about being in their next game. Kageyama knows how much it means, how much it meant.

Suga's smiling as he sets for Daichi, and Tsukishima's already in motion to block. Yamaguchi manages a solid receive and the ball comes back. Everything blurs again, then Kageyama's watching the ball leave his finger tips and sail towards Hinata.

It's a successful spike.

Then Hinata hits the ground.

The smile on his face drips away and is replaced by confusion before undiluted fear and pain seep in. He screams and the world slows to a snail's pace as the small patch of ground he'd landed on shifts, and he falls.

Kageyama's always frozen in this part of the dream. In the memory, he'd rushed over, faintly hearing Yachi's panic behind him but it had been drowned out by the sickening sound of bone. He remembers seeing Hinata's leg, how it looked so terribly wrong, how it was discolored. He remembers the tears streaming down Hinata's cheeks, his panicked breathing, and the thud when he let his upper body hit the ground.

But in the dream, Kageyama's frozen.

He sees Suga call for an ambulance while Yamaguchi and Daichi try to keep Hinata calm. Tsukishima's almost as frozen as Kageyama is, staring with his mouth agape as Hinata's continues to wail in pain.

Kageyama remembers the hospital. There was a nurse who smelled like cough drops, and another that smelled like she bathed in cleaning product. The doctor had been tall, standing only a little higher than Tsukishima, and his voice had been soft and collected when he told them what happened. Hinata was in the hospital room, asleep with the aide of powerful narcotics.

Yachi hadn't let go of Kageyama's hand since they got to the hospital

In the dream, they're still at the park and Kageyama can't do anything at all.

He wakes calmly, like he'd been dreaming of nothing more than the weather. His eyes open slowly and he looks around to find Hinata and Kenma asleep. There's no pain in his chest, no erratic heartbeat, no cold sweat, he's had this dream before.

Kageyama's eyes drift to Hinata's legs.

The braces have left faintly irritated impressions in his skin, sloping lines of red across his right knee and his left ankle.

The doctor had said that when Hinata hit the ground, and it shifted, the impact jolted up his leg the wrong way. The x-rays revealed it was a time bomb waiting to happen; it showed that the bone and the socket didn't quite fit together. His jumping in the past hadn't caused issue, the doctor explained that Hinata's leg could have been fine for the rest of his life, but the circumstances just happened to be right that day.

While in the hospital, Hinata had been sure that once his leg healed up, he'd be back to playing volleyball. He joked about Kageyama having to carry him everywhere until that happened, and Kageyama didn't hesitate in doing so.

The doctor had pulled Hinata's mother aside and told her that there was a chance he wouldn't be able to play on the level he once had. Surgeries had complications, sometimes the healing process didn't go right, but there was a good chance Hinata would be fine.

They all believed it.

They were wrong.

Most days, Hinata can't straighten his leg out completely. He can't rest too much weight on it for too long, though he insists upon walking without help. The strain goes to his left leg then, to his ankle, which isn't good either. The only upside is that it isn't bad.

Kageyama's gotten used to supporting Hinata's weight whenever they're walking, whether it be down the street or down the hall, it doesn't feel like much anymore.

Everything seemed to go downhill from there.

Asahi left, Daichi got injured, Oikawa vanished.

But things are okay, as okay as they could be for the time being.

Kageyama doesn't realize he's been glaring at the wall until Hinata tells him so. Now awake, Hinata's placed his index finger against the furrow in Kageyama's brow.

"Don't be mean to the wall," he slurs, still tired.

"I wasn't."

He lets Hinata smooth the frustrated concentration wrinkling his skin before shifting to sit up a little straighter.

"Bad dream?" Hinata asks after a heavy pause.

"No, just frustrating."

"Oh."

* * *

Kenma's almost weirdly efficient in the kitchen. But Kageyama's not complaining, he let Hinata go back to sleep so they'd gotten a late start on dinner. Hinata's in the bathroom, washing up, and probably staring at himself in the mirror.

"He seems better today," Kenma says. He's dicing vegetables with alarming speed, dumping them into the pan where Kageyama's working from.

"He is."

Nodding slowly, Kenma fixes his gaze on the cutting board.

"Is it strange that he's still like this?" he asks.

Kageyama pauses, chewing lightly on the inside of his cheek. Is it strange? Volleyball had been everything to Hinata. He'd already had a set back with his ankle, but at least he could still play. If he remembered to land on his good leg, then there wasn't a problem. But with his knee? Impact would send jolt of pain up his leg, he would buckle, he would fall. He can walk on his own, but not for long, and not without medication. When he does walk, his limp is heavy, impossible to hide.

Hinata used to be able to fly. He used to shine like the brightest star in the darkest night. To some degree, he still is that star, to Kageyama at least. He's still a star, but he fades in and out. Hinata can't play volleyball anymore, he can't jump, he can barely walk.

Hinata can't fly anymore.

"I don't know," Kageyama says at last, turning off the stove top.

The answer doesn't please Kenma, apparently, he scrunches up his nose and shakes his head once, but he doesn't say anything. By the time they get dinner plated, Hinata's come out of the bathroom, slipping easily into his seat.

Dinner is fairly easy, Kenma and Hinata talk, Kageyama pretends he doesn't notice the food disappearing from his plate.

When they're done eating, Kageyama shoos the two down the hall to Hinata's room before starting on dishes. Kenma sleeps on the trundle and Hinata almost always sleeps there with him for the first night. Afterwards, he'll sleep with Kageyama, giving Kenma the space he may or may not need. Though, if Hinata needs to sleep alone, then Kageyama takes the couch, and he has no issue with that because he often wakes up with Hinata sleeping over the top of the couch, his hand resting on Kageyama's chest.

It's fine.

Kageyama rubs his hands down his face, forcing a sigh through his lips before he turns on the tap and fills one side of the sink.

By the time he's done, Hinata and Kenma are dressed in pajamas and talking idly on their beds. Hinata's hair is a bit of a mess, and he's wearing one of Kageyama's shirts, like always.

"I'm going to bed," Kageyama says. He's not tired, not even a little bit, but that's a fairly normal occurrence.

Hinata gets off his bed, and Kageyama forces himself to stay where his is, and puts his arms around Kageyama.

"Goodnight," he says. Hinata can't push up on his tiptoes anymore, at least not very effectively, so Kageyama ducks his head a little to give him a kiss.

"Night, Sho." He watches Hinata limp back to his bed and bites his lip.

"Goodnight, Kenma."

"Goodnight, Kageyama."

* * *

Kageyama is still awake when his alarm clock reads midnight.

He didn't really expect to be asleep anyhow.

His door creaks open, and his immediate thought is that Hinata had a bad dream, but then he realizes he can't hear Hinata's uneven gait.

It's Kenma, then.

"Something wrong?" Kageyama asks, blindly reaching to turn on his lamp.

Kenma squints at the sudden light, but continues walking until he can sit on the edge of Kageyama's bed.

"Shouyou's asleep, I can't talk to him."

"Oh."

"Do you and Shouyou ever fight?" he asks after a moment. His shoulders are slumped, his eyes fixed on the floor, he's not moving.

"Not like we did before, but we still do, sometimes." It's true, certainly.

Before, their fights were little more than petty squabbles because they were both young and stupid and bad at communication. They got better at after Hinata injured his ankle, but the fights changed course then. Their fights now are because Kageyama worries too much, or gets frustrated with himself. Their fights now are because Hinata pushes himself too far, or gets frustrated with himself. Kageyama gets overbearing when he's concerned, it makes Hinata feel useless. Hinata snaps and says things he doesn't mean when he's in pain, it makes Kageyama feel conflicted.

They talk about it though, once they've cooled off. Kageyama goes to Hinata's room and they sit on opposing sides of the bed, they talk, they apologize, they resolve. It works, they both know they love each other. But Hinata has reoccurring doubt that Kageyama doesn't love him because he isn't what he used to be. Kageyama worries that instead of helping Hinata, he's making him feel even more broken. It's not true, for either of them, but talking helps put those thoughts at ease.

"Why do you think me and Kuroo fight?" Kenma asks, toying with his shirt sleeves.

Hinata knows more about Kenma and Kuroo's relationship than Kageyama does, Kenma doesn't usually seek him out. He knows Kuroo is a little overbearing, that he worries maybe a little too much. He knows that Kenma doesn't exactly voice what's in his head, that he can't always verbalize what he feels all that accurately. He doesn't know if they talk at all.

And he says as much.

"Talking doesn't work," Kenma mumbles, drawing one knee up to his chest.

Kageyama isn't exactly sure what to say to that. But he does remember that for some of their first fights, he and Hinata usually had a moderator of sorts to keep them on level with each other. It was usually Suga, though Yachi had helped quite a bit in the past.

"Well, whenever you decide to go back, we can help you," he offers slowly, rubbing at the back of his neck.

Kenma looks up, golden eyes glinting in the dim light from the lamp.

"Do you think that will help?" Kenma asks.

Kageyama nods.

"Right, okay."

Kenma stands and makes his way to the door, pausing a moment with his hand on the frame.

"Thank you."

Kenma closes the door before Kageyama can respond, so he absently turns off the lamp and lays down again.

* * *

Okay, so obviously I'm not an expert with injuries and what not. But Hinata's knee injury is loosely based on my own. I did martial arts for a number a years without issue but during one of my belt tests, my left knee slammed into the ground and I wasn't able to spar or really participate at all after that. So, you know, there I go projecting onto characters again.


	3. Chapter 3

...so, two years huh?

* * *

Hinata's tucked into his side when Kageyama wakes up.

"Good morning," Kageyama says quietly, realizing that Hinata's already awake. He's staring, eyes wide and owlish as he blinks.

"I had a dream last night," Hinata responds instead.

"What was it?"

"It was nice."

Hinata doesn't say anything further, he just pulls Kageyama closer, hugging him tight before letting him go a moment later. Kageyama helps Hinata out of bed, holds onto his hands as he slowly settles his weight on his legs. A quiet gasp slips past Hinata's lips, his hands tighten around Kageyama's as he shifts his weight to his left leg.

"Steady," Kageyama breathes out, habit more so than anything else. Hinata used to get indignant, he'd scowl and stick out his tongue before trying to walk on his own, nearly falling on his face afterwards. But Hinata just nods and clings to Kageyama's arm as they slowly walk down the hall. He has a cane, two actually, but he hates using it.

Kageyama's found it shoved in the back of his closet on more than one occasion.

Kenma's slumped over the table, a mug of coffee near his head. Kageyama doesn't know if he's asleep or just laying down. Either way, it's not all that great of a start to the morning.

Breakfast goes simply enough, Kenma wakes up and nods along to Hinata's one sided conversation. They have plans to go see a movie, on the upside it's one that both Hinata and Kenma mentioned wanting to see, and it's one of Ennoshita's newest features. The only downfall of that particular plan is that it involves going out, and given how Kenma appears, it might throw him off a little more.

"Suga posted a bunch of pictures last night," Hinata says, unlocking his phone. There's certainly not enough internet connection where Asahi lives to post pictures so they all receive a flood of notifications when Suga and Daichi come back. There are pictures of Asahi climbing a tree to get a cat, Daichi with panic etched into his face as he falls out of a canoe, Suga asleep on a worn couch, the three of them smiling up at the camera in the shade of a massive tree.

Kageyama likes seeing those pictures. It's an unconventional set up, but the three of them make it work and he has no doubts they'll continue to do so. Asahi lives by himself, too many hours away in a town where the best way to keep contact is with written letters. Suga and Daichi visit on every third Thursday of the month and stay until Monday morning. Daichi gushes to Hinata and Kageyama whenever they come over, shows them more pictures, tells them stories about what Asahi's been up to. Suga sits beside him, holding his hand and smiling warmly, but otherwise not contributing to the conversation.

Sometimes, Suga invites Kageyama out for a drink, to catch up. Kageyama only accepts when he knows Hinata has plans that will keep him occupied. Luckily enough, they coordinate when they see each other at Daichi's appointments. Suga gets sullen when he gets drunk, Kageyama tries to stop him from getting to that point, but a couple of times he hasn't always beat Suga to the bottle. When that happens however, he listens.

Suga's not bitter, Kageyama knows that much, he just wants to see Asahi more. That's where it gets complicated though, because Suga is happy that Asahi is happy. He's not upset with Asahi in the slightest, he never could be. But he tells Kageyama that he just wants to hold Asahi for longer than a few days every month.

"Tobio," Hinata waves a hand in front of Kageyama's face.

"Hmm?"

"You zoned out, are you okay?"

Really, it should be Kageyama asking Hinata that. It always is, and it feels strange for it to be the other way around.

"I'm fine, sorry, just thinking."

Hinata gives him a look that says he doesn't believe him so Kageyama leans forward enough to press a kiss to Hinata's forehead.

"Gross," Hinata mumbles, scrunching up his nose, but there's a smile twitching on his lips and Kageyama grins softly.

Kenma excuses himself for a shower, and Hinata sits on the counter so he can watch Kageyama wash the dishes as usual.

"I feel okay today," Hinata says quietly, eyes focused on Kageyama's forehead.

"That's good." He waits until Hinata can meet his eye to smile. When that happens, he leans close enough to kiss Hinata's nose. His face scrunches up in faux distaste again, and Kageyama feels a hint of laughter slither up his throat.

Once the dishes are done, Hinata disappears into his room to get dressed, Kenma having silently finished showering while they were in the kitchen. He sits on the couch, tapping absently away at a handheld. Kageyama knows he doesn't play like he used to, now he uses old games from high school, ones he can beat in his sleep. It makes him look busy so he can drift away without anyone noticing.

Kageyama's noticed. And so has Hinata.

He leaves Kenma to himself though, and goes to get ready.

It doesn't take too long, a few minutes at most, then Kageyama's looking for Hinata.

"Carry me," Hinata requests.

Kageyama rolls his eyes, like it's a big deal, but piggybacks Hinata out of the theater without so much as a hitch in his breath.

"The protagonist looked like Tsukishima," Kenma mumbles.

"You're right! I knew he looked familiar!" Hinata shouts. He's a little too close to Kageyama's ear but that's fine.

There's an unspoken agreement to go back to the apartment for at least a little while to recharge. Kenma is in a much better mood, still a little on the low side, but Kageyama had been prepared for worse. Hinata's on the high side of the spectrum, despite his apparent pain, it's nice.

Kageyama unlocks the door and lets Kenma go in first.

Hinata gets down from Kageyama's back and wanders to his room, returning a few minutes later with a blanket. He curls up on the couch, and Kenma sprawls out on the floor.

As he's getting Hinata's pain medication, his phone goes off. Yachi's tone is a piano piece, a quick succession of notes that are just as bubbly as she is.

"Hello?"

"Tobio? Hi!"

"Hi, Yachi."

"There's going to be fireworks at the park near my apartment later tonight. If Shouyou's up for it, would you want to come? I'm making a picnic. I called Tadashi but he didn't answer so I left a message."

It sounds like fun.

"I'll ask him, we have Kenma with us too."

"Kozume? He can come too! I always end up making too much food."

Kageyama smiles and returns to the living room.

"Sho?"

"Hmm?" Hinata looks up, face illuminated in blue light from his phone.

"There's going to be fireworks at the park near Yachi's apartment, she's making food, and Yamaguchi might come."

"That sounds like fun!" He smiles, which is answer enough. Kageyama hands him the pain pills before turning to Kenma.

"Is it really okay if I come?"

"Of course."

"Okay."

Kageyama relays the affirmations to Yachi and she babbles for a few minutes about the food she's making, and how nice it will be to see Shouyou and Kenma again. When she hangs up, Kageyama joins Hinata on the couch, settling down so that Hinata can move closer if he wants.

"Suga posted another picture," Hinata says, showing Kageyama his phone.

Daichi's weaving Asahi's hair into an intricate braid. Half of Suga's face is visible, as the other two are behind him. They look content.

Kageyama nods, holding still as Hinata settles against his side. He gets some work done on his phone after Hinata falls asleep.

"How's his leg?" Kenma asks once Hinata starts snoring.

"It's...better. He doesn't like using his cane, but he's good about the brace, and I make sure he does his exercises."

Kenma sits up, tired and heavy. His ringer goes off but instead of answering, he puts his phone on silent.

"Last night, he said he missed volleyball."

Kageyama sucks in a breath.

He misses it too, but it's not as bad for him, he can still play. Hinata doesn't have that option.

"I know."

The silence stretches until Kenma breaks it again.

"I'm gonna try...talking with Tetsurou, like you suggested. I'll probably go back home tomorrow."

"That's good," Kageyama says, he can't really say anything else.

"Will you and Shouyou come? I don't think I'll be able to talk to him by myself."

"Of course we will."

Satisfied, Kenma hunkers down with his handheld once again and the apartment is a pleasant kind of quiet.

Kageyama keeps a hand in Hinata's hair, gently toying with the bright tufts. It's longer than it was in high school. Hinata doesn't want a stranger near his head with a pair of scissors, and Kageyama doesn't trust himself to even make an attempt. So whenever Saeko's in town, she gives Hinata a trim. It looks nice either way though.

They go to Yachi's as the sun starts to set.

She's waiting for them at the bottom of the steps, Yamaguchi at her side.

Yamaguchi's hair is longer too, held back in a loose ponytail. His freckles have faded a little, and he's grown a little too much for Hinata's liking. He's changed more on the inside than he has the outside though.

"Tobio! Shouyou!"

Yachi stands up and jogs over to them, pulling Hinata into a hug first, then Kageyama. She pauses in front of Kenma but hugs him when he gives her a short nod.

"I'm glad you guys decided to come," she says walking them to the stairs. "I'm going to go grab the basket and blankets and then we'll go."

She runs up the steps and they hear her door open and shut.

"Woah, Yamaguchi, new tattoo?" Hinata asks, head cocked to the side, eyes fixed on Yamaguchi's right arm. He's wearing a short sleeve, and just beneath the hem is the suggestion of ink.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, got it last week." Yamaguchi tucks up his sleeve to show a masterfully inked tattoo. It appears to be a constellation of a phoenix, stars connected to create its form, but it's surrounded by plumes of flames.

"That's so cool!"

Yamaguchi flushes at the compliment, rolling his sleeve back down.

"Uh, I've been working on the concept for a while, truth be told I was a little nervous as to how it'd turn out," he says with a small chuckle.

"I've been thinking about getting one," Hinata says, "but I don't know yet."

"Well, if you ever decide to, let me know and I can take you."

"Thanks, I'll do that."

Yachi returns after a moment or two, a bright grin plastered on her face.

"All right, let's go!"

They spend about a half hour catching up; Yachi and Kageyama take a moment to touch base about work before moving on to talk about what the both of them have been up to, Yamaguchi and Hinata chat back and forth, the former showing off more of his tattoos.

Kenma will join in either conversation every so often, but his attention is on his phone, more specifically, the occasional flash of green light that alerts him to a new message. As far as Kageyama's noticed, he hasn't responded to any of the messages, and the light has gone off about six times.

Yachi dishes out food a few moments before the first firework arcs across the sky. There are a few other groups, mostly families, a few young couples here and there. Some of the children have sparklers and a few of them chase each other around.

All in all, Kageyama figures that this day counts as a win.

Hinata's smiling, pointing excitedly at the colors exploding in the sky. Yamaguchi is leaning back on his hands, not an ounce of tension to be seen. Yachi shares much of the same excitement as Hinata. Even Kenma looks happy.

There's a nudge at his side and Kageyama doesn't have to look to know that it's Hinata tucking himself closer. If his size didn't give him away, then the tufts of hair brushing against Kageyama's neck leave no question.

When the show ends, they walk Yachi back to her apartment. They go inside with her, Kageyama helps her with the dishes while Hinata and Yamaguchi put the few leftovers they had back into the fridge.

Yamaguchi's phone rings as they're finishing up and he jumps. He disappears down the hall a moment and all they hear is mumbling. After a few minutes on the phone he comes back out, looking strangely reserved.

"Everything okay?" Yachi asks.

"Yeah, I gotta go though."

"Oh, okay."

"Thanks for inviting me, Yachi, I appreciate it. Kageyama, Hinata, Kenma, it was nice seeing you guys."

Then he's out the door, his jacket halfway on and his phone in a vice grip.

"Has he said anything?" Kageyama asks.

Hinata's moved to join Kenma in the front room so he keeps his voice down. Yachi just sighs quietly and runs her hand through her hair. She's let it grow out considerably since high school, it hangs halfway down her back.

"No, but you know how he is. He doesn't like worrying anybody."

If Kageyama is quiet about his own life, then Yamaguchi is soundless. It takes some digging, and a bit of alcohol, before he even hints at what troubles him. But he's fairly happy despite it, Kageyama knows that much isn't a lie. He likes his job, loves his kids, he's good at what he does.

Kageyama supposes that's what's important.

"Right," he says simply. "Okay, I'm gonna get them home, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, drive safely!"

The drive back to the apartment is quiet but it doesn't feel heavy. Hinata's in the back with Kenma, showing the latter something on his phone. Kenma's own phone is still blinking, but not with new messages.

If he has to hazard a guess, Kageyama would say that it's Kuroo.

Kenma doesn't exactly say where he goes, though it's obvious that it's either going to be Akaashi's house or Hinata and Kageyama's apartment. Kuroo gives him his space, doesn't try to seek him out save on the few occasions where their fights are miniscule and Kuroo comes to pick him up.

Hinata is half asleep when they arrive and Kageyama gives Kenma the key to the door. He gets Hinata out of the car, supporting him with one arm so he can get the door locked up before shifting Hinata into a bridal carry.

Kenma's left the front door cracked so Kageyama nudges it open with his foot.

Only the front room light is on, and Kenma's on the couch, tapping away at his phone.

Kageyama meets his eye, posing a silent question but finding nothing troubling in Kenma's gaze.

Hinata wakes up halfway to his room but makes no protest, allowing himself to be carried the rest of the way. He gets his arms around Kageyama's neck and holds tight, closing his eyes.

It takes a bit of maneuvering to get Hinata to his bed, but Kageyama sets him down without too much fuss.

"Can you handle changing clothes?"

Hinata gives him a sleepy nod and Kageyama steps back.

"I'm going to check on Kenma real quick."

Again, he gets a sleepy nod, and he steps out of the room.

Kenma is still on the couch, but his phone is face down beside him.

"Everything okay?"

"Is Shouyou going to bed?"

"Yeah, in a few minutes." Kageyama sits on the other end of the couch. Wordlessly, Kenma hands over his phone. The screen shows his message history with Kuroo, an almost entirely one sided conversation on Kuroo's part, made of long paragraphs sent in quick succession.

It sounds heartfelt, and tired. Kageyama knows these messages, he's seen them enough, been on the sending end of them before too.

"I don't know how to respond," Kenma says at last.

"What do you want to say?" Kageyama asks, still holding the phone.

"That I want to come home, that I want to talk."

"Say that, it works better if you're honest. We can take you back in the morning, my shift doesn't start until noon."

Kageyama gives him back his phone and stands up. Kenma just stares at the screen and nods.

"Right."

If it weren't for the clothing change, he'd say that Hinata hadn't moved. He's awake, only barely, just bleary eyed and swaying.

"How's Kenma?" Hinata asks around a yawn.

"He's talking to Kuroo."

"Good."

Kageyama sits beside him, close because Hinata holds out one of his hands.

"Hey, Tobio?"

"Hm?"

"Mind if I sleep in your room?"

"Of course not."

Hinata is more or less dead weight by this point, but Kageyama's had years of experience carrying him around. He takes Hinata to his room and leaves the light off, navigating in the dark. He gets Hinata settled beneath the covers and presses a kiss to his forehead.

"I'll join you in a minute," he says.

"Goodnight, Tobio."

"Goodnight, Shouyou."


End file.
